I just realized.... Don't get notifications now if you disable them, so you don't know who's doing what.... So why not put an icon up beside your account name? It could be to the left of it or maybe even to the right of inbox? In my head I have the simple idea where you click the icon (maybe a bell icon?) And it would then show a small box at the top of screen. Basically an icon with a pop-up....
Every time someone quotes a message it'd say "<name> has quoted your message" and similar idea for replies etc... It would also add a hyperlink so when you clicked it you would be taken straight to the topic.
This would only be for your posts or people that quote/mention you. I believe this is a better way as people will easily be able to jump to topics without checking them all the time for replies etc.
If you choose not too I have another idea. A "only receive emails from my topics/quotes* check box in settings, this would ignore friends posts and simply email you replies to your posts and mentions. This would limit the emails people have and therefore stop the constant angry at emails posts, which are understandable. It would probably take a few months, but w3schools is an amazing site if you need help. 
there's also codecademy where you may practice things and build a website on that (really simple one) and also YouTube, so lots of help if you like this idea.
Thank you for the suggestion. We will review it.